Dear Dee,
My friends are making fun of me because I don’t know how to play Smash Bros. It makes me very sad. How do I get them to stop?
P.S. I like playing the crocodile because he has big teeth and a cannonball.
Ryder M., age 11
Dear Ryder,
You main King K. Rool? In 2025? God, no wonder you suck so much. Come ask me for help once you pick up Kazuya and can land Electric Wind God Fist.