Troll Magnet (Issue 9)

Dr. Sex Rex, I got a problem and I need a good answer. My threads are so fly I got women hanging all over me. There’s plenty o’ me to go around, but some of these ladies look about as good as Rosie O’Donnell run over by a Mack truck with rusty-chained tires. I just can’t get rid of some of these girls. You gotta help me out. – Troll Magnet

I know exactly what you are talking about. I have to fight the ladies off with a frozen midget. They just cannot resist my Rex-appeal. Below I have listed some tips on how to dispose of the weeds and pick the flowers.

Dr. Sex Rex’s Tips on How to Lose a Girl (and Keep Her Lost!)

Toss ’em. these lines and they’ll be gone before you can say “hoe down”:

  • 1) Wanna play hide-and-go-seek in my pants?
  • 2) I’m a real lightweight. One drink and my bra is on the floor
  • 3) You know, alien probes really aren’t as bad as people say they are
  • 4) …So I said, “No I’m not wearing a wig on my ass. What makes you ask?”
  • 5) I’m a powerhouse of sexellence!
  • 6) The last person that said that ended up in my freezer…are you hungry?
  • 7) I was pretty worried until my doctor said a man can get a sheep pregnant
  • 8) Wanna play hobbits? I’ll be Frodo!
  • 9) …So I said, “Herpes, Crabs, and Syphilis? That’s nothing.”
  • 10) I just flew home from jail and boy is my ass tired